To err is human, but to err several times a day is well
just plain dumb! In some special cases, the count of us getting into a sticky
situation socially is more of an hourly routine. So instead of
praying fervently to the almighty to dissolve you into thin air and
vanish you off from the face of earth, here are some of the common social
bloopers you can avoid on daily basis!
1. During uncomfortable, long free intervals, always have
certain sure shot 'distractions' that you can stare at, with you. Like your
phone, iPod or in helpless situations your watch can come in handy too, (as
long its a cool one). The motive here, is to seem occupied.
2. Try not to use windows on vehicles as mirrors.
There’s a 95% chance that someone’s in there staring right back at you,
as you check nostrils and teeth until you see pupils through the tint.
3. If you are out shopping with a group and are sort of dyslexic
when it comes to simple ‘pull and push’ doors, discreetly stand back and let
someone else do it.
4. When watching a movie with family, make sure that its
free of any explicit content. Or atleast keep the remote somewhere next to you
and quickly change it to something as harmless as afternoon sports news.
5. When at a restaurant, avoid foods like spaghetti and fizzy
drinks. The last thing you want to do is, make a ‘slurping stupid’ or a ‘burping
bozo’ out of yourself!
6. While walking on the footpath\ corridors firmly stick to
your lane to avoid any awkward run- into- each - other- dance interaction.
7. When a person you aren't quiet familiar with, excitedly waves at you, turn back and check if there’s someone else whom they are waving
at. This way you can avoid waving back like a moron and realizing it wasn't you
at the end.
8. When you want to shout out to a person at a distance with
a happy greeting like ‘Good morning’ or something, make sure they aren't plugged to their ear phones!
9. When you’re taking your friends\colleagues out on a
treat, its always safe to carry the amount in cash. You don’t want to be in a
weird situation where you brandish your card to pay the bill, and it comes out
declined!
10. Never make stupid assumptions about fat women by
congratulating them for their pregnancy! They will simply hate you for the rest
of their lives.
11. Avoid discussing gross and perverted stuff loudly with your 'besties' in a quiet public place. People are bound to hear your escapades and silently pray for the sad state of humanity, which will leave you scarred for life!
