Wednesday 26 March 2014

Who Am I?

There’s some kind of restlessness, unspoken doubts, some fears, an unsettled mind. Maybe it’s the age, where nothing can satisfy you. Future has become like a graph you plot, where you try to trace the path alongside the ‘desirable’ imaginary curve you once plotted with your dreams. 

I’m a new age woman trying to find my identity among an apparently reforming society.
My caste and creed aside, I struggle to come to terms with the enormous disparity between a man and a woman. Leave alone the instances of rape, harassment, eve teasing or any kind of social evils we might have faced at some point or the other in our life. What about the stereo typical judging of a modern woman’s character by her peers, neighbors, colleagues and relatives? Many brave ones might put up a facade of ‘I don’t give a damn to what people think’, but the truth is ..EVERYONE cares, words hurt.. Either as a rude slap on your face or a dull ache in your head that slowly comes to notice.
It’s a phase of modern age identity crisis, where we are caught up in the new wave of liberation and yet so pulled by the strings of old traditions and culture. 

No! I’m not a rebel, neither am I a die-hard feminist. I thought I can adapt to the new course of changes and mould myself into someone who’s a near perfect blend of both the ideals. Little did I know, that trying to balance between two different set of lifestyles, would lead you into an intense uncertainty of ‘Who am I?’ 

Maybe this question has always been there, brimming to realization during times of peril. Nothing can be done about it until this question burns into the head of every woman and we do something about it. Till then, I can only hope.. Hope, that at least once, I go by my day where I don't regret being a woman.

5 comments:

  1. light a lamp of hope belief in its enlightment !! what you need is grit !! be grittier about your grit !!

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    1. Thanks Chowdy, yes you are right, eventually a new chapter will begin. Just need some determination and patience.

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  2. No question I have to milady’s condition,
    A woman she is and woman she remains to me,
    The question unsettled that milady ponders,
    Is the end of the book the sum of the chapters she reads?

    It’s tempting to fall into that circular reference,
    For in Life, like in books, are lessons we should employ,
    But not every story is one of happiness unbounded,
    And not every book is one I would wish to enjoy.

    Remember now and forever, milady fair,
    Around you much is black and much is white,
    The gray areas are where you have all the influence,
    And the end of the book is the part that you get to write ...

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    1. That was beautiful Carl, thank you.
      The funny thing about writing that book is, the story keeps changing.
      Although, I know what genre it should be. This optimism will suffice.
      Thank you again.

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  3. Hi, landed on ur blog via something something. But hey u write great. I am 25 and although I am a guy but I can somewhat relate to what you say. You can say I’m a new age man "trying to find my identity among an apparently reforming society." You are right, how much ever u try to ignore or take things light but you hear things being said about you, there are happenings with you where one can see and tell that what an over judging society we are living in. But let me tell you we make the society and somewhere down we are the culprit too, maybe not extremists but somehwere, i hope u understand what I mean to say here. So yes, like u, I am too walking on a path of hope, determination and patience.

    And i think that there is no difference between man and woman now. I know ull be wanting to bombard me with 1000s of scenarios, examples and "aap beetis" that can be said against women-men equality in India. And yes I too witness things but things are changing now. Mindset is changing and what I feel the reason behind this is the increasing number of youth in the society. Number of people who encourage such pity issues is decreasing and girls, woman are given equal opportunities now. Like "I want to keep working after marriage" demanding girl also gets a husband which was not possible few years ago(tv ad) and in rural areas too(Swades).

    And pls dont regret being a woman. MGandhiji has already the shown the world the power of women and the time is not far when that power will rise again, again for the nation.

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