Fuss over F*&%

You're sitting at home on a lazy weekend, sprawled on the couch, going about your routine of flipping through channels at an impossible speed, when suddenly you get a glimpse of 'Family guy'. You go back and start watching it.. your mom is working somewhere in the background and all she can hear is 'So what the *beep* are you *beep* kidding me.. *beep. beep. beep* you!' Silently she chides. You guiltily change the channel to a music video of guess who! Eminem. So there it goes, five painful minutes of a truck load of cuss. Till your mom comes and switches off that idiot box so filled with filth! (That's what your mom believes anyway!) Awkward silence fills the room and all you can do is think about the fuss created over these words. I admit, I happen to have nasty foul language. Courtesy my dad, an ex defense person and a present marine (I guess that explains a lot!) at the age of four, I walked around blurting 'F#&k and S%@t' without even knowing what it means, until I received a tight slap from my mother. Anyways that was back in childhood, right now I am where my roots want me to be, luckily with right minded (rather right tongued  friends so I can cuss away to glory! This very habit of mine landed me in soup a countless times! Quite recently at my new workplace, I may have exclaimed with a profanity over a trivial issue like spilt coffee.. only to be discreetly black listed by my evaluator! (Yes.. my life is a joy ride!) the worst thing is that, I was in his bad books for over a month, which resulted in pathetic marks. So after that debacle of mine, I solemnly swore to not utter slangs at work, of course that led to me hardly talking. I realized the only place I can curse with freedom is, when I'm driving.Wrong turn, high speed or overtaking from the wrong side.. they all receive my grimy verbal wrath. Poor mother of mine, patiently sits tolerating my exquisite verbose like a shot of bitter medicine! I cant help it though, I try .. but miserably fail in such situations of stress. All I can do is, hope and pray for a time when certain words come to a socially acceptable range in our language and if that can't happen, then gosh I hope for a wizard to cast a word loss charm over my head, so that I can STFU in peace! (oops)

The Wrath of Flesh

A bruised body, a battered soul

In matter of hours fate turned so cold.

A dark place where virtues digress 

where innocence is stripped by fiends of hell

and morals of life just fail to egress.

All that is left, a gaping void of despair

crippled dreams and a lost will to live.

Deep down that vanquished soul, slowly

emerges a boiling rage coursing through her veins.

Nurturing her core, nursing all wounds.

The need for justice driving away the pain

to send the savages back to hell fire in vain,

watching their flesh burn and life trickling away in bits.

At last, her crushed goddess emerges victorious,

numb with content and a touch of melancholy.

Her bloodied eyes with new hopes and dreams

and a pitiful heart for a failing humanity.

Vanquishing the Inutile

The unforgivable sin,

A futile feeling,

The destroyer of millions,

The termination of good.

Oh why this hate?

What fete does it make?

Wracks all felicitous lives,

Turns gold to ashes,

Repays cipher but sadness,

And disconnected decisions,

To throw you into a pool of rue,

With slight ways to hark back,

Though you battle it along your regained consciousness,

To egress triumphant against your evil intents,

And to realize at the finish,

What an ignorant little coward you've equaled,

For you never trusted the power vested within you,

To believe in outsmarting what you guessed,

 was merely a small part of you.

Crossroads

Disarrayed ambitions spread across
Thoughts engulfed in confusion
She stands still in helpless anguish
Knowing not what lays ahead
Fearing consequence of a wrong turn
As she readies herself to tread on one
A step further, she retracts two more
Her mind filled with pessimism, like
thorned shackles bound to aching feet.
As her eyes shut for a divine intervention
A sudden inner peace befalls on her,
her own strength battling the dilemma.
She sets afoot on a path less traveled
Courage coursing through her veins.
She strides on her way unflinchingly
Never looking back or contemplating it
Like a true warrior, she conquered it.

Defying Laws of Physics?!

Alright.. Before you start contemplating that this post is some nerdy breakthrough rendition of an otherwise lame concept of physics.. Well, its not! (Yeah too bad you quantum freaks!) This is about my simply immutable but futile battle with weightloss! Sigh.. I cant seem to recollect since when this has been going on, I guess from the time my baby fat clung on to me even after I was done being a baby! After maybe gazillions of periodic attempts to shed flab throughout my life, thanks to some bullying and constant chiding at my workplace, once again, I decided to face that childhood monster of mine. So then, started the dreadful ‘detox weekend!’ (read how to ruin a weekend) which included ‘water and fruits fest’ and ‘roughage tour’. All in all it formed a good start, this was followed by mild ‘Trot time’  and ‘Toss the junk’ period where I was to bid adieu to my beloved cheese, mayo, confectionery and other similar niceties of life. This went on for about 20 days and thankfully I was able to shed a considerable few pounds (don’t ask me how much, I believe little drops make an ocean!) anyways I was elated at my progress (as usual) until the dreaded festive season dawned upon me. Just one, one freaking day of a tad too much food and sweets (I just couldn't help myself) and zing! The lost pounds came right back at me! It was almost like science played a cruel joke on me..  twenty whole days of effort gone in just a day! I looked helplessly anguished at my mother after stepping off from the weighing scale (which I jumped on, in anger) she muttered something about calorie balance which I didn't bother to hear. All I could do after this was, blame some random mysterious power that defied laws of mass and time balance for my epic failure. Hence, presently I have given up, as usual.. Although I am positively sure this saga will start again. Until then, I shall rejoice my munchies.. *om nom nom nom*! 

Right Who?!

Alright.. so I have been told by my ardent followers (haha!) that I am turning too 'Emo' in my posts! After the initial 'OMG! How can you say this to me' kind of reaction.. I did realize that the mood in my posts are turning morose. So yeah, without any further delay.. I shall get back to my wry and retarded style.

A few days back, I came across this cliche line 'They keep saying that the right one will come along.. I think mine got hit by a truck!' Although I had heard this before, oddly enough I rolled over and laughed my head off! You see, I'm currently in the process of 'Soul searching' or maybe just 'Searching' (If you know what I mean!) and somehow this line seemed very fitting at this point in time. But ofcourse as usual my brain loved to come up with random quirky alternatives of what events could take place, resulting into him going AWOL! (Ok.. by now you must have decided that this is a pointless post! but hey, I bet many would relate to it in some way). So here's a list of what may have happened to 'Mr. Right!'.

1. Is no more!.. sigh (I'm such an optimist!)
2. Abducted by aliens for being extraordinary!
3. Is a poor guy's soul, trapped in a girl's body!
4. Is actually a girl! (Woah!)

5. Is a girl trapped in a guy's body! (Yikes!)
6. Has gone under cover and hence all records are missing. (Ethan Hunt image!)
7. Has transfigured into my pet cat.. to constantly watch over me! (No wonder I love my cat so much!)
8. Is actually none but 'ME'! (Oh no wonder I'm so self obsessed)
9. Is playing hide & seek with me. (Only hide in this case!)
10. Has gone to the Himalayas for 'Soul searching' like me.

11. Renounced worldly pleasures and turned a monk.

12. Got recruited by the Al- Qaida. (Oh god no!)

13. Is stuck in a time warp and repeating the same day over and over.

14. Is a cartoon/ fictional character. (Eg. 'Flinn Ryder' from the anime 'Tangled'!)

15. Has gone invisible, thanks to either uncontrolled mutation or an invisibility cloak!

... And the list goes on..

P.S- I just realized that this post is sort of 'Emo' too! Yikes! Post here, if you have any theories of your own!!

Flawed Perfection

The idea of perfection as some say,

is the zenith of one's desires.

A frail hope that drives our kind.

We toil from dawn to dusk,

hoping we might achieve the

unachieved. Yet we seek aimlessly,

only to realize in the end, 

It was all but a grand deceit!

The concept of a perfect flawless life,

Is flawed from the start! For there's

nothing that can quench our desires.

Best decisions are the weighted ones

and we often get what we deserve.

Best things in life are not perfect

its what that makes us most content.

A happy present and a blissful future,

A fitting rebuke to a glorified deceit!

Few Unspoken Words

There are a million instances where we fail to express our feelings to people.. be it a heartfelt apology which never made it out of our heart, few words of forgiveness, or an expression of love and care, or just plain wrath that stayed dormant over the years, only to ruin relationships one fine day (personally experienced.. sigh!). In every walk of life we come across myriads of feelings for people but somehow manage to conceal expressing it to them. Makes me wonder, why do we even do that? Random disconnected words crop in my mind in the form of answers. Pride, shame, stubbornness, affection or just plain stupidity! People tend to complicate simple issues in their 'pragmatically- challenged' heads and taint bonds over simple or somber exchange of words. A lesson to be learnt from little children or perhaps a person's dying wishes, is the urge to speak out their feelings. A childhood once lost is gone forever.. but why wait till it comes down to our last words. Why not muster up the courage and blurt those few unspoken words! Life might just turn out to be different after all.. all those lost opportunities will cease to exist when we retrospect our life one fine day and we may actually be content with our decisions. The whole mania of 'You only live once' (YOLO!) might just make sense after all.

Twilight

The sun descends,

And hides behind the fading gleam of the clouds,

Darkness lifts,

With a hint of illumination peeking out of the veil,

The world is lit with a foreign glint,

Making it look like its in a state of war,

The hour of the defeated?

Reality seems to disagree,

For it looks ravishing,

And transfixes one to exalt,

What flavors to be the kingdom, of Dusk.

Trust- The Vanquished Warrior

'Relations are built on trust' a thought of gold, but somehow most difficult to practice. In the days where truth takes a backseat, blatant swindling forms an obvious trait, turning tables turns to an uncanny knack and people lose their morals at the drop of a hat! 

It is truly disheartening to watch as the curtains of mistrust close down upon us, wrecking the frail bonds between us. Be it among family, work, love or even on the street! People are suspicious of everything. I contemplated this midway in a rather accusatory conversation with my friend's mother who made me swear on almighty to answer her truthfully! Swearing? I wondered where did this abysmal practice even start! Its not like a secret vow 'scroll' is being prepared upstairs! Even more so, I bet God 'Face-palms' whenever he is mentioned in a so called covenant! So that brings me back to the major trust issues people have.. well, including myself! I used to believe in the policy 'Ignorance is bliss' but that flawed policy holds good only if stayed ignorant till death! Otherwise you just end up feeling stupid. Something even harder than trusting is regaining a lost trust, which might just take a lifetime! 

These banal failures of faith in people impel me to reckon it as a fallen soldier, who fights to prevail every time but falls back miserably. Makes me want to wish the world was filled with 'Honest Abes' and 'Gandhi jis' so that there was no room for suspicion and people like me don't have to mull over retard issues like this! Although in reality, this might be remotely possible if each one of us start being truthful, atleast little by little.. and perhaps we can make this a world a better place (not a line from a song!)

Creating the Pinnacle of My Life!

Its good to get back to writing from the brief hiatus I had taken.. called 'My job!'

At my training, we had a session called 'Pinnacle' which focused on personality development and building a clear vision of what one would want to achieve in life. A mere three day program can change one's personality and perspective towards life?! That intrigued me. The result truly amazed me! Mocking my uncertainty.. it revealed a whole new realm of possiblities with the power of striving and accomplishing every single one! At the end of the session each and every person was to make a vision for themselves, along with the the exact time they would achieve it. All of us, bustling with energy and optimism rushed to chalk our ideas. Mine went something like this.. I'm penning this down as a post, so that it stands as a testament to what I must achieve.

So here it goes, My five year plan!

1. Work for a year or two and get some hands on experience in the corporate world.

2. Pursue MBA from a reputed college in marketing and HR.

3. Get placed as an HR in a reputed company.

4. Meanwhile, get settled with the right one and start a family of my own.

5. Start a joint venture with friends of an animal shelter.

6. In every step of this vision, see to that my parents are happy and proud of me.

7. Most importantly, grow as a person in the aspects of religion and spirituality.

That's about it I guess, thanks to 'Pinnacle', a dream that seemed as an unlikely possibility.. now appears so vivid and distinguishable.

Homecoming

There are times when you are simply taken aback by someone very young to you. In my case, its my little sister, who left me spell bound by penning this beautiful poem. 

The lights flashing in your eyes,

The crowd encompassing you breathless,

The confusion and disarray of shielders and destroyers,

The sudden urge to break through the solid ground for you can find no way out,

Only abruptly it hits you,

You lost her,

In the affrighting muddiness,

And to substantiate that you are her solely way out,

You rush back,

To discover her in the arms of a saviour,

That indescribable moment when you construe her safe

And carry her home,

Assuring her,

That daddy will never once more let go. 

Au Revoir

A lesson well learnt in life,
is the purpose of one's existence.
Dreams, wealth, power and love..
a heady rat race that doesn't halt.
It holds no regard in the other realm,
a realm you chose to transcend to.
Bidding to us an abrupt adieu,
and to this abysmal conundrum around.
Leaving a gaping void in the hearts of many,
that no worldly joy can fill.
A bottomless cup with a deceiving brim;
made us believe, loved ones stay forever.
Well, you proved us wrong!
A harsh reality check, life's true value.
In every step of life, you will be missed.
A part of you, the lesson you taught;
shall remain as a constant beacon.
Of sheer innocence and purity of soul
and mostly the joy of being alive.
Until, like you, its our turn to transcend.
Au revoir my love, my friend, au revoir!

This is post dedicated to my best friend whose tragic demise, shook my very core and made me realize, how important it is to be alive and to be thankful for it!
You will always remain in my heart. May your soul rest in peace!

Dear Blogger!!

Dear Blogger,

Ok first of all, I'm extremely sorry for neglecting you for one whole week! I know you have been my savior during all those days of joblessness and loneliness.. my guardian angel during periods of acute boredom! Its just that I have been engrossed with my new job, a desk job it is, but without free access to sites that involve any kind of 'entertainment!' (losers) and so I sit there going about my mundane task of training, while my heart pins for penning random thoughts about work and people there. The only highlight of working I found, was to get free tea and coffee twice a day (I was hoping for some light snacks too but sigh!) The rest is as gloomy as it can get. Work, I guess, can demand a lot from one's life.. maybe I shall get the hang of it after a while and try balancing job and my interests! I'm hoping that time will come soon. Till then I might be a little absent minded with publishing my posts, although my train of thoughts will always be directed towards my next post. Writing is something I just cant part with, my solace and my true escape from monotonous humdrum of life! Although, not on the lines of great and likes of masses (people consider my writing as juvenile and lame) shoddy penmaship as I call it.. its still an obsession of mine. Till then be patient with me and I won't let you down!

XOXO
Neha :)

1 month already?!?

Ok.. so this comes as a definite shock to me that my relationship with blogger has completed a month !! (Soo made fr each otherr!!) Thank you readers for the encouragement and support!! My love for writing has increased immensely from the moment the reviews started coming in! So I decided, that my first month post should be dedicated to all of you.. Here's a collection of some of your comments along with the twisted backgroud chatter of my mind!

Brain chatter: BC

1. Haha what nonsense is that?
BC: Err its about you .. MOM! Thank you so much for your support!

2. So silly! You and your sarcastic comments!
BC: Umm.. thanks a ton dad.. Not!

3. I always knew you would be good at this..
BC: Aahh if I were a guy, I would so marry you!!

4. Your blog is turning out to be awesome!
BC: Oh the sweet sweet sound of compliments! Go on.. don't stop the flow..!

5. Its great! Engineering is a wrong field for you!
BC: Aww a cute boy compliment!! *punches in the air*

6. Oh my god! Its so boring.. I'm feeling sleepy Neha!
BC: Umm that boring? What amuses you then? Knock- Knock jokes or 8th standard humor? Amateur!

7. You have amazing talent! I hope later on, I can do the same thing.
BC: You are my favorite person! Starting from now!!

8. Its hard to impress an egoist like me.. good job!
BC: Thank you! (Why you no follow it then?)

9. Its really nice! I will follow your blog soon.
BC: Liar! Its been two weeks and I still have 13 followers!

10. Bob! You're turning too emo.. Write more of sarcastic stuff!
BC: You my friend are the only person who tells me this! Hail the great sarcasm!

11. Its good.. but the titles are too grunt!
BC: Umm.. grunt???

12. Hey your blogs are awesome! I keep a track of them.. they are great!
BC: Just two words baby! Follow and spread!!

Love and Other Drugs

“Sometimes the things you want the most don't happen and what you least expect happens. I don't know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.”

For starters, this post is not about the Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal starring movie ‘Love and Other Drugs’! (although the above quote is taken from the movie) It is rather a comparison drawn between the hallucinatory drugs and another potent drug called ‘Love’.

Love! The heady rush one achieves during a new found love. That surreal joy, the unexplained exhilaration (crazy rising pulse!), the warm feeling that reaches to the very core, an escape from the banality of life, a pleasant mirage conceived by a thirsty heart, a clandestine affair so filled with thrill that you lose the ability of thinking clearly! Such striking similarities between the two truly amazes me.

However, everything in life comes with a price.. I ponder over this, midway at war with my paramour (currently, former.. sigh!) I come across, the inebriated state this feeling creates within us hapless beings, searching for companionship. Craving for more, this addiction blinds many a soul with a deceiving panache, the vulnerability attached with it seems as unnerving as the Russian roulette! Before you realise, you are already neck deep caught in a swirling ocean of helplessness created by none but you! It truly feels like a point of no return. Although, there are countless antidotes, I doubt any would heed to it.

P.S- I just realized that, this is my tenth post!! :) Thank you all readers for the support!! This post starts a new chapter in my life.. A new beginning, I welcome it with a smile! :)

That Sweet Bitch called Karma!:)

The above title may sound pretty offensive, but regardless of that, the people who linger at the receiving end of Karma's horrendous wrath would promptly agree to what I am talking about. Karma, as the definition goes by; is like an invisible force that carries the good and evil of a person. To sum it up in one sentence, its "What goes around comes around". That means that if a person does good, good fortune will come to him; likewise if the person commits evils, bad fortune will come to him. Its the basic concept which all religions revolve around. Although it defies pragmatism, it does form a comforting piece in the circle of life. Revenge maybe sweet, but Karma’s sweeter for those who cannot do much to settle scores. For many a good Samaritan  it is more like a deliberate shackle to stay put and be on their best behaviour. I pondered on this while watching my mother and sister offering namaz, this might hold true for the believers but what about the atheists and agnostics? Do they believe in this? Immediately the answer followed on its own.. ‘Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.’ Phew! Thanks to Newton, I can happily cross the non- believers off my checklist! Although it says opposite but there is a reaction nevertheless.. (who reads between the lines anyway!) Another intriguing situation crosses my mind wherein there are people who do not reap what they sow, where does Karma go at that time? The believers sought comfort in the concept of heaven and hell to make things even. The rest.. are probably left with an unanswered question, a void that may be filled by another scientist’s law, centuries later. Till then, I’m content yet cautious with that sweet sweet bitch called Karma!!

Lament of the Little Toe

I'm sure after reading the title you will probably have some serious doubts about the sanity of the writer..Yes! I have finally hit the wall and lost my brains.. My preternatural ability to bring things to life in my head, has crossed all barriers and hence I present to you the sad tale of the 'Little Toe!' So here it goes,

The other day my dear mother was going about her job of cleaning the house and flapping her wings around, throwing an occasional smart alec or two at me for not actively helping her in what she acknowledges as 'Home Making' (yeah right!) when suddenly during her unmindful scuttling she whammed her foot to the couch's leg! As she tossed and turned in extreme agony, I rushed to her rescue rolling my eyes at her sloppiness, and saw a rather appalling sight of her little toe badly bent in the opposite direction! I screamed in horror and prayed furiously that it shouldn't end up as a fracture. Thankfully it didn’t happen so.. My mother fearlessly caught the little devil and fixed it back in place! I was beginning to think that it was a fake toe bought off the internet.. (read 'My Angry bird Mom!')

So coming back to the tale of the little toe.. (sorry I got distracted!) As we sat there nursing her injury, my mother kept rambling curses at her toes, the little one in particular. She called it insignificant, a weakling, a klutz, err homeless! (that was in Urdu by the way, it actually sounds very harsh!) She asked me what was the purpose of that stupid appendage, to which I replied 'Actually nothing! Its a 'Vestigial' organ.. just like the appendix.' To which she looked up to the heavens and yelled 'Allah! Then why is it still there? take off all the toes or at least make them equally sized!!' By then I was beginning to feel sorry for that poor toe.. I shuddered at the weird image of having no toes or equally sized ones.. believe me it looked horrifyingly ugly! I went to my room to Google 'Significance of the little toe' (the joys of being utterly jobless!) and found that 'The little toe or baby toe helps in maintaining balance, although it is not as critical as the the other toes..' Ouch.. so it isn't very important. Wonder what it would be going through, if it had a mind of its own.. probably turn so depressed and suicidal.. it would need therapy! sigh.. no wonder it smashes itself repeatedly against the furniture! 

So I guess I should stop this story so filled with morose, while my brain impels to pen a befitting moral.. hmm.. I wonder.. Oh here it is.. Never be like the unfortunate little toe in life.. strive hard and become a thumb! Now that, will set you apart from all the other mammals and make you substantial!! 

A Chat with Death of the 21st Century

The sound of quick footsteps filled the hallway of an empty house. A slim and tall faceless figure approached the bedroom. Dressed in a crisp black suit and a bowler hat, Death slowly entered the room searching for his victim.. a lifeless heap lay in front of him, face down on the table, his glasses askew. Death impatiently glanced at his watch which started beeping indicating his next assignment. Rapping furiously on what looked like a high end version of a tablet, he waited for his victim to come to senses. ‘Mr Guy (yes I'm unable to come up with a name!) I’m afraid your time is up.. I’m here to escort you to afterlife’ said Death after a while. Mr Guy’s soul woke up in shock.. there lay his dead self beside him and as he scanned the table to find out what must have killed him.. an unfinished Chinese take out, extra large fries, a gaming console and some random stuff.. He still pondered upon his demise. ‘How did this happen to me?’ asked Guy with a downcast glance at the eerie figure before him. Death tried to regain his composure, same old question! he thought, the incessant beeping from his watch breaking the awkward silence. ‘Mr. Guy, did you know that you had cancer?’ asked Death. ‘What? No! Cancer killed me?’ exclaimed Guy. ‘Well, not exactly .. you are lucky that heart attack got you first. It is less painful of the two’ said Death nonchalantly. The blaring continued from the watch, 'Its time to leave Mr. Guy, you can bid good bye to your gadgets and junk food as they were your only true friends, your parents will mourn your loss and you may meet them after a decade or two in afterlife, as they were the last of healthy generation left. Now Mr. Guy if you can please hurry, I have a very busy schedule ahead of me!’ said Death rapping swiftly on his ‘Death Pad’. Guy wretched by all the commotion, shuffled his feet and timorously asked ‘Umm.. Mr. Death, all of this is fine.. but may I ask one last question?’. Death looked at the hapless being and agreed to him, ignoring the sound from his watch. ‘Hmm.. since I am going to stay up there for a long while, umm.. like eternity and all.. Will there be online shopping service? Otherwise I don’t really know what to do, I am bound to get bored!’ whined Mr. Guy in a timid voice. Death taken aback by the strange request, pitying for the disdainful state of mankind and their disregard for life, answered with melancholy in his voice ‘Hmm.. we shall see about that, now shall we get going Mr. Guy? Death rarely waits for anyone..’

  

A Bus ride through Bangalore on a Sunday morning

Alright.. Before you go through the title and mentally label this as an impossible feat to achieve! I would like to add that I had an identical opinion about this, only to be dumbstruck with joy a while later. So here it goes..

It was about a week ago, I was supposed to give an entrance exam on a Sunday (sigh) and my exam centre was located in the other corner of the city (oh yeah, I’m always lucky with that!) So yeah, my mother woke me up early in the morning and for the next half hour I whined about my life, the heavens and the examination board. As I continued to mutter curses under my breath, I was booted out of my house and into the bus about an hour early! (my mom has an uncanny knack of dealing with wimpy kids like me!)

As the bus began to move, I noticed there were hardly any people and the bus looked exceptionally clean, another bizarre thing I saw was, a happy bus conductor (we Bangaloreans regard it as a myth!) as I observed he continued to hum a popular Kannada track and went about his job, chatting occasionally with people and helping them with directions. As expected on an early morning during weekends, the roads were traffic free and our bus eased through effortlessly. The cold wind rushed through my face and by now I was thoroughly enjoying the calm and blissful atmosphere around me. I looked outside my window, to see a deserted but a lovely Bangalore, no shops except the petty ones and the street vendors were open, the malls looked like they never existed.. There were a few people here and there probably out to savour the morning beauty. The best part was that, my city looked greener than ever, the sunlight painting the surroundings in shades of gold and yellow. As I sat there transfixed listening to myriads of sounds of the nature with a slight intervention of hustle and bustle of the city, piecing together in a perfect symphony. I wondered that this might have been the Bangalore as it was, two decades ago.. in all its alluring glory.

Soon the bus halted and I was shaken out of my reverie and took one last glimpse out the window (of the bus and my thoughts) I realized that I have an exam waiting to torment me, but somehow I was at peace and oblivious to that, my mind captivated by what I call the ‘The Bloom of Dawn’.

Photography credits: Naazneen Ahmed

Never Too Old For Cartoons!

It happened about 6 years ago, on a  dull summer night, I sneaked out of my bedroom.. It was way past my bed time (10:45  pm) my movements were almost torpid.. Damn! This addiction has got to stop! I thought to myself as I descended the stairs, switched on the TV and immediately put it to mute to avoid any attention.. I quickly flickered through the channels; my mind wandering off  to sleep already.. until I finally got to what I was looking for, about 20 blissful minutes, I relished the previously missed episode of 'Avatar : The last Airbender' on Nikelodeon. This is too good to be true! I said happily to myself.. but alas! like all the good things in life.. this too came to an end.. my dear angry bird mom rushed down stairs.. and well.. the following events are sort of blurred in my memory.. there was definitely a scary tirade (included lots of wing flapping and pecking) as it turned out I had my 10^th preparatory exams the next day (who studies for preparatory exams anyways?!) I vaguely remember her yelling 'Aren't you too old for these silly cartoons!!?' and that, got me thinking...
Six years later, when I was downloading an episode of 'Phineas and Ferb' my mother asked me the very same question.. with a hint of sympathy in her voice (probably thinking I'll be alone for the rest of my life!) .. and I turned to her and confidently said 'No mom, cartoons are not just meant for kids, they have an amazing story line and they remind me of the finer nuances that make up a happy childhood. The innocent joy we derive from it,  is priceless! So mom, I doubt I would ever get too old for cartoons!' To that heartfelt assertion of mine.. well she slept through it I guess, she simply walked away. As I sat there beaming at my words, I wondered what would be my opinion about cartoons, say a decade from now.. I definitely reckon it would be the same!

Betrayal

Ok so a little deviation from the usual retard randomness of mine. This was my first proper attempt at poetry.. (well other than my funny rendition of Roses are red, violets are blue..!) so here it goes..


There was a time when I sat alone,
  idle was my mind;
 My innocent eyes wondering,
  what laid ahead in time.
And out of the blue came Betrayal!
  disguised as a noble suitor,
Wooed my heart with a cruel skill,
  and promised a bright future.
Each day my heart soared to new heights,
  and little did I know;
That this was all a blissful illusion,
  One day it all might go..
And that fateful day did come,
  when truth had paved its way,
The mask was off, I faced Betrayal;
  with no more words to say!
The fog of confusion cleared,
  revealing deeper uncertainity.
A storm of rage then came,
  numbing away the brutal pain!
And as the waves of fury lashed across,
  poor Betrayal stood in vain.
Finally the storm had calmed,
  a bruised heart on its way to heal;
Ghosts of past don't haunt me anymore,
  the betrayal now... unreal!
And now there lies deep within me,
 an unforgiven memory.
As I wait with hardened eyes;
 to see what lies in my destiny.

The Battle of Attributes

Hmm ok so its my 3rd post and I’m already being exceptionally choosy about what I write (see bad blogging!) From a very long time I wanted to take a dig at English and its changing trends, be it SMS language or abnormally excessive use of slang (wazzah yall, got swag eh? Yolo!) But looks like a few (million) people beat me to it.. However I decided to venture into a less significant (and by that I mean you never gave a rat’s a** about it!) trend in English and that is, the slow decline in using superior adjectives to express any kind of emotion (see, I told you it was lame!).

Courtesy the keyboard, a strong emotion of happiness is expressed as say, ‘IIII aaaammm sssooooooo hhhaaapppyyyyyy!!’ now replace that by ‘I am elated’ and it somehow does not give out the same feeling. Now lets replace a biggie like ‘I am flabbergasted!’ by ‘Ooohhh mmyy ffrreeaakiinngg ggooodd!!’ (I bet in your head there’s a shrill voiced lady who is screaming this!) and the latter definitely gets to you. Now thanks to the qwerty phones, our faithful chat friend T9 keypad takes a back seat and the extra letters are tossed in abundance to show someone how you really feel. For a retard like me, who loves to bring inanimate things to life in the head, this situation seems like a battle between the adjectives who can be powerful enough to beat the ‘Extra Lettered Attributes’ (ELA). 

Maybe someday they will just be obsolete and the emotions will be judged on the number of times the letters are repeated! Hmm I wonder what the superior adjectives will do next.. probably bring out a honcho like ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ (yes, that is a real word.. source: Wikipedia) to stand against the menacing ELA! Till then, I sincerely wish them Gggggooooodddd Llluuccckkkkkk!!

Rising Tempers

Have you ever gotten so angry that you completely lost your wits? No wait, let me rephrase my question.. How many times this week, have you gotten so angry that you completely lost your wits? I wont be surprised if you answer the latter, probably with a high number. This is what is happening nowadays.. right from the time you wake up.. (Which is 90% of the time later than what you had planned!) Your patience is tested in so many beautiful ways.. you somehow manage to start on time from home but then the traffic decides to beat you to it.. and so you snake your way through, to get to your workplace feeling like you have conquered the world, but alas! Your team leader awaits you with devilish plans of his own and makes you slog the entire day. Just when you have reached the end point of your endurance, the boss enters and you are forced to put up a flawless facade masking your internal agony.. work is criticised and frowned upon (mostly because you make a gullible vent for the frustrations of your seniors) By now you’re already seeing red, but wait there’s still the ride back home, battling traffic which just got worse.

At the end of the day you feel like a battered soldier and pray heavens to speed up time and jump to the weekend! But if your luck takes a turn for the worse, you will have pending jobs like renewing your passport.. and my oh my over there your tolerance levels are simply tested on a whole new level! Personally having experienced it and rejected twice (Oh the abominable shame!) So yeah, as if the work wasn’t enough for you to conclude that you are cursed, the Indian government and the rain gods decide to pitch in too!

Anyways, coming to the conclusion.. this post is not for you to read and go “Oh that happened to me!!” but to do something about it.. well, more like avoid it. The world on the whole is getting quick tempered and the only way to solve this problem is to take a ‘Chill- Pill’ (can’t help with the cliché) and by simply not giving a damn about it. Its alright to be a little care free sometimes. Meeting up with friends, listening to some music (‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter..a great song when you’re having a rotten day!)  or just taking a long walk can do wonders in keeping that temper in check. Life is filled with ups and downs but that doesn’t mean you blow your lid off over it! Always remember the fate of our friendly neighbourhood transformer (not the movie). ‘With great power fluctuations, comes gr.. KABOOM!!’ (total black out)

Have a nice day!!

My Angry Bird Mom! :)

I’m sure a lot of people have thought of their family as a sit-com cast.. Its pretty normal I guess.. we love relating stuff to something on TV. I on the other hand took the unconventional route of looking at my dear mother as an ‘Angry bird’ character (For those of you who do not know about angry birds.. Well, its a highly complex and sophisticated game of catapulting annoyed hens with super powers to kill grunting green pigs! Oh yeah, some classy stuff it is!) So yeah over the time, through my ‘Angry bird’ addiction, I scrutinized her every action, recorded it and compared it to any avian species I could think off! The weirdest thing was that, it stuck on.. until I hypothesized that she keeps a secret catapult for travelling to places, and all her ‘Human’ parts were fake.. mostly bought off the internet and Shivajinagar stalls! The craze even caught on to the other family members, my little sister in particular added on loads of new theories which were hands down hilarious!! I think the best part is that my awesome mom took all this in her stride (I mean wings) and completely agreed with our absurd and random quips about her ‘Heniness’!!

Anyhow guess I'm supposed to end this ludicrous tale of mine with a befitting moral, (Since nowadays everyone's big on achieving good values from every nook and corner!!) So here it goes, no matter what, a mother's role is the greatest of all and only she can play it to utmost perfection.
My first blog, I dedicate to my Mom, who in my case can even sacrifice herself to eradicate all the dirty pigs in my life!! All I can think of, at this moment is that.. I am proud to be her chick! (Literally!)

 I'm not really publicizing this game, but its a great stress buster and a must try!